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As this time of year comes round again I find myself reflecting
On all the things for which I’m grateful like my family and friendships
And the fact my life is relatively free from pain and tragedy
There’s so much I am thankful for; but, still…
If there’s someone or something out there responsible for all of this
And listening to me thank them, then I ask you, Sir or Madam
Would you kindly tell George Lucas to stop screwing with our Trilogy
And on behalf of all of us, say “George: please fucking stop”
I am thankful for the Firefly crew (especially for Kaylee)
And I am thankful I won’t live to see the rise of the machines
And I’m thankful that Joss Whedon is directing The Avengers
And speaking of directors: hey there, George…
A movie is a snapshot of the era it was made in
Like a painting or photograph, or even this song’s lyrics
And we won’t go back to change them if Avengers ends up sucking
We’ll just shrug and then we’ll go make something new
So fucking stop
Everybody knows Darth Vader didn’t say a goddamn word
When he threw the Emperor down the Death Star II’s reactor shaft
And Everybody knows that Greedo never even fired
When Han shoots first, it sets up his entire moral journey
Plus, it’s cool
I know that in the scheme of things, it’s just a first world problem
And there’s many more important issues even so, I’m asking you
That if you’re not too busy with the problems of the universe, and
If you have a moment I would sure appreciate
If you’d drop in on Mr. Lucas—maybe grab him by his neckbeard
And then vigorously shake him and say “George, it’s very simple:
Just release the goddamn Blu-Ray with the versions we remember
Then shut up and take our money, and then please
Please fucking stop”
